You Can’t Have It All: How Priorities Shape Our Careers and Lives

We spend most of our lives working — often more time than with friends and family. So, wouldn’t it be a shame to spend that time in a job that doesn’t make you happy? But what is it that makes us happy at work?

The answer isn’t the perfect job — that job doesn’t exist. The real key is knowing your priorities: What truly matters? What can you let go of? Clear priorities help us make smarter decisions today and build the future we want.

In this first edition of my new monthly column “From Nothing Comes Nothing” for Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger, a regional daily newspaper based in Cologne, Germany, I share personal insights and lessons learned from my own career journey—exploring how aligning your work with what matters most can redefine success and happiness.

My sister and I share not only international backgrounds but also exciting career journeys. Like many Germans with Iranian roots, we both chose to study medicine after finishing school. However, while my sister worked in oncology for a few years, she later moved into the business world, taking roles at Facebook, Microsoft, and a healthcare startup.

For me, it became clear during my medical studies that curiosity was pulling me in a different direction. Right after taking my medical exams and finishing medical school, I switched to strategy consulting at Bain & Company and completed an MBA at the same time. Today, as the founder and CEO of Agile Academy, I help companies navigate transformations — processes that always involve people and change.

Over the years, my sister and I realized that the driving forces behind good career decisions are deeply personal — and they change over time.

Early in my career, I wanted to prove myself. I focused on earning more money, gaining prestige, and learning as much as possible. Without kids, working 80–100 hours a week wasn’t a problem. It was an exciting time — great projects, lots of travel, and good pay. But today, at 42, those conditions no longer suit me.

Now, my three children and supporting my wife come first. Prestige no longer matters — I’ve proven myself. Money and personal growth are still important, but my top priorities are family and time with my parents, who aren’t getting any younger.

The key to professional fulfillment is knowing your priorities: What truly matters? What are you willing to give up? There’s no such thing as a perfect job, but clear priorities help us make better decisions today and shape the future we want.

It’s not just the job itself that makes us happy. Instead of chasing “work-life balance,” we need a broader life balance. Work is just one part of life — alongside family, friends, hobbies, and personal passions. Knowing what’s important and making time and space for it is how we create a meaningful life.

Our careers are more than just a source of income. They build social connections, show how we contribute to society, and push us to grow. And aren’t these challenges exactly what makes us proud in the end?

"Prioritize with this mindset: You can’t have it all."

My recommendation:
Write down what matters most to you — and what compromises you’re willing to live with. Prioritize with the understanding that you can’t have everything.

Then ask yourself: Does your current life reflect these priorities? If yes, that’s great — but keep in mind that things may change in 3–5 years. Anticipate those changes and adjust your path early.

If the answer is no, it’s time to make a change. That doesn’t always mean quitting your current job right away. Often, you can start making changes where you are. If that’s not possible, having clarity will help you take a new direction with confidence.

Happiness isn’t found in your job alone — it’s in the bigger picture of your life. Improving that picture is a continuous process — sometimes through small steps, sometimes through big changes.

A Final Thought:
On my 40th birthday, my father said with a smile:

“If you wake up in the morning and feel no pain, you’re dead.”

It’s the same with life: without change, it stagnates; without challenges, it becomes boring.

So, take charge of your life—don’t just look for happiness in your career. Find it in the whole package.